Who let the sun go down on me?

After about two weeks I'm starting to feel the effects of little to no sunlight. The only upside is that I'm not the only one who is pale as shit anymore, which is nice. Not many Russians go tanning. And the ones that do seem to be trying to tan themselves out of the visible spectrum.

Beautiful. Anyway, it took me awhile to realize that, yeah it's Russia and everything is terrible, but probably not as terrible as it seems at the moment. But I brought my happy light , so we're spending a lot of time together before I decide to throw myself in front of a train. Also, I started to listen to music on my way to class. Initially I was afraid that if someone saw me with headphones they would c**t-punt me and steal my iPod, but it would be a small price to pay for a few moments of happiness in the mornings. And it helps, as well, to think of the crowd on the metro as if you're being hugged by a thousand people instead of squeezed and pushed and prodded by a million elbows and bags and you start getting tunnel vision and panicking and the room seems smaller and the air is stifling and oh my god why is the fill power in this coat so goddamn high I can't stop sweating do you think they're noticing that I'm breathing harder if I don't get out of here I might literally have a heart attack. No... hugging is a much better alternative.

I've also had a lot of down time to myself, so I've been reading a lot. Sci-fi/fantasy lit might be a new interest of mine. HG Wells is god.

Also, a $60 pair of pants from the Gap costs $100 here. And they flip you off at the register and call your mother a cow.

ALSO also, I am not one for physical affection. In any way. Gross. But goddamnit do I want someone to hold my hand every once in awhile. Until then, it's just me and Pepe.