In my very short time here, I've made some observances that I'm sure are 100% accurate in analysis. They are as follows:
1. Most Russian women wear heels. Initially I thought it was for the same reason everyone else wears heels: lift that booty! Wrong. I believe the real reason is that they work as pick axes to stab a hole through the two inches of ice that usually cover the sidewalks. Stylish AND functional!
2. If you're not eating it with sour cream, why are you eating it at all?
3. Now, I haven't spent a lot of time in American cities with metros, so this may just be universal, but the metro is no place for personal space. In order to get out, you HAVE to push. And be pushed. And looking incredulously at everyone around you will get you nowhere, except possibly noticed as a foreigner, which leads me to number...
4. Don't make eye contact with anyone, and for god's sake, don't smile at them, because they take that as a sign of sexual interest. Even if it's a dear looking old man who may remind you of your grandfather. If you smile at him, he will ruin your grandfather for you forever.
5. The weather is not an appropriate topic to discuss with anyone. It's fucking cold, we all get it.
6. If you don't eat carbs, you do now. Between all the rice and potatoes and pastries and cheese to hold it all together, you'll be ready to take the shit of your life, and yet, sadly, won't be able to.
7. If you're with a group of Americans speaking English loudly, which is the only way we do it, I'm pretty sure, everyone will hate you, but at the same time be fascinated with you. Also, they will assume you are from Santa Barbara. I don't know what it is with Russians and Santa Barbara, but it's just easier to tell them you're from there, and yes, I see famous people on my way to work every day! Whatever.
8. Don't get excited about beer. Corona is king in most of the restaurants. And I don't know about you, but if a beer needs fruit it in to be passable, it's not worth the calories/being seen drinking it.
Part two: MEDEM
I was lucky enough to get to experience the Russian medical system (Clinic MEDEM) within my first few days! It was a lady problem, don't worry about it, whatever. First, cheap. Cheap as balls. Services that would have cost me $250 in the US cost me around $85. Second, no wait, whatsoever. And I didn't speak with a nurse, I met immediately with the doctor. Whoa. And third, first rate entertainment. I was told my doctor spoke English, but she spoke about as much English as my cats. "Have with your periods come how much?" "When you has periods at first day how old you are?" And then when she was telling me my diagnosis, she invited my program head in to translate. Only slightly embarrassing. She is now well acquainted with the goings-on with my vag, and now every time I see her when she says "How are things?" I am well aware that she is asking "How that cooch?" Ugh.
And now some pictures! (Also, I just turned to TV to disney channel and they're talking to a Furby. Russia is about 15 years behind us in most things.)
1. Most Russian women wear heels. Initially I thought it was for the same reason everyone else wears heels: lift that booty! Wrong. I believe the real reason is that they work as pick axes to stab a hole through the two inches of ice that usually cover the sidewalks. Stylish AND functional!
2. If you're not eating it with sour cream, why are you eating it at all?
3. Now, I haven't spent a lot of time in American cities with metros, so this may just be universal, but the metro is no place for personal space. In order to get out, you HAVE to push. And be pushed. And looking incredulously at everyone around you will get you nowhere, except possibly noticed as a foreigner, which leads me to number...
4. Don't make eye contact with anyone, and for god's sake, don't smile at them, because they take that as a sign of sexual interest. Even if it's a dear looking old man who may remind you of your grandfather. If you smile at him, he will ruin your grandfather for you forever.
5. The weather is not an appropriate topic to discuss with anyone. It's fucking cold, we all get it.
6. If you don't eat carbs, you do now. Between all the rice and potatoes and pastries and cheese to hold it all together, you'll be ready to take the shit of your life, and yet, sadly, won't be able to.
7. If you're with a group of Americans speaking English loudly, which is the only way we do it, I'm pretty sure, everyone will hate you, but at the same time be fascinated with you. Also, they will assume you are from Santa Barbara. I don't know what it is with Russians and Santa Barbara, but it's just easier to tell them you're from there, and yes, I see famous people on my way to work every day! Whatever.
8. Don't get excited about beer. Corona is king in most of the restaurants. And I don't know about you, but if a beer needs fruit it in to be passable, it's not worth the calories/being seen drinking it.
Part two: MEDEM
I was lucky enough to get to experience the Russian medical system (Clinic MEDEM) within my first few days! It was a lady problem, don't worry about it, whatever. First, cheap. Cheap as balls. Services that would have cost me $250 in the US cost me around $85. Second, no wait, whatsoever. And I didn't speak with a nurse, I met immediately with the doctor. Whoa. And third, first rate entertainment. I was told my doctor spoke English, but she spoke about as much English as my cats. "Have with your periods come how much?" "When you has periods at first day how old you are?" And then when she was telling me my diagnosis, she invited my program head in to translate. Only slightly embarrassing. She is now well acquainted with the goings-on with my vag, and now every time I see her when she says "How are things?" I am well aware that she is asking "How that cooch?" Ugh.
And now some pictures! (Also, I just turned to TV to disney channel and they're talking to a Furby. Russia is about 15 years behind us in most things.)
Cheese pie. Ohhhhh my god. Oh my god. Yeah.
Smolny Cathedral at my school.
Kind fuzzy, but that last word sounds like "Blookher," as in Frau... neigh. ;)
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