Made some friends at a bar last night. Three Navy Seals from Nicaragua...!!!! Let me tell you. You never feel quite as invincible as you do when you're slightly (...maybe definitely) tipsy and in the company of three Navy Seals. Two of them were black, the other Latino, and I only say this to underline the attention we were receiving from literally everyone else in the bar. A bunch of American girls hanging out with OHSHIT! members of a different race?! Who the fuck do they think they are?!! Not in THIS country. Fuck. But, as drunk Alexa reasoned, they're Navy Seals, what the fuck are YOU gonna do about it, IVAN, you racist douche? Anyway, they didn't know English, only Russian and Spanish, so between my broken, drunken Russian and me repeatedly singing the only Shakira song I know in Spanish, a great time was had by all. There was a table next to us of three men and a lady who kept trying to get us to join their table to "save us," but after one of them tried to kiss me (unfortunately not the lady) and propositioned a threesome, I thought it best to return to the safety of my new bodyguards.
ANYWAY.
Here's a small thing: on the metro you are ordered by a pre-recorded message that replays at every stop to give up your seat (if you are lucky enough to have one) to older women and people with children. Sure. However. I seem to have trouble judging when women are old enough to WANT my seat, because I've done a damn good job of offending possibly all the 50? year old women in St. Petersburg. And god forbid you try to insist that they take it once you're already standing. I learned some new obscenities. One lady just pushed me back down into the seat and shook her finger in my face. Last time I try to be polite, I swear...
A friend of mine came up with a new slogan for Russia, which I thought I would share with you, because it is painfully accurate. Credit: Seth King.
Come to Russia if you want to see:
Fashion from the 90s,
Music from the 80s,
Infrastructure from the 70s,
Health advice from the 60s,
Racism from the 50s,
Poverty from the 40s,
And dust from the 30s.
Beautiful.
Also.
God love 'im.
I'm supposed to be on a tour of the Russian museum with a large number of my classmates, but I decided I would rather not spoil my good mood and visit it myself at a later date. Double doses of anti-depressants seem to be doing the trick.
Also, I can't believe I haven't said this yet: DON'T DRINK THE WATER. Or these little critters, pictured here, will eat your soul. Or your intestines. Or something. Not really clear on the whole process, but it's something you don't want to consume, and I get that much. Much like shverma (so called in Russia, shawarma in normal places). Don't eat it. You's probably eating rat. Or dog. One kid in the program last year ate it like twice a day and ended up with a parasite that only exists in dogs. So. There ya go.
Rat shawarma. Beautiful.
New friends!
Over and out ;)
ANYWAY.
Here's a small thing: on the metro you are ordered by a pre-recorded message that replays at every stop to give up your seat (if you are lucky enough to have one) to older women and people with children. Sure. However. I seem to have trouble judging when women are old enough to WANT my seat, because I've done a damn good job of offending possibly all the 50? year old women in St. Petersburg. And god forbid you try to insist that they take it once you're already standing. I learned some new obscenities. One lady just pushed me back down into the seat and shook her finger in my face. Last time I try to be polite, I swear...
A friend of mine came up with a new slogan for Russia, which I thought I would share with you, because it is painfully accurate. Credit: Seth King.
Come to Russia if you want to see:
Fashion from the 90s,
Music from the 80s,
Infrastructure from the 70s,
Health advice from the 60s,
Racism from the 50s,
Poverty from the 40s,
And dust from the 30s.
Beautiful.
Also.
God love 'im.I'm supposed to be on a tour of the Russian museum with a large number of my classmates, but I decided I would rather not spoil my good mood and visit it myself at a later date. Double doses of anti-depressants seem to be doing the trick.
Also, I can't believe I haven't said this yet: DON'T DRINK THE WATER. Or these little critters, pictured here, will eat your soul. Or your intestines. Or something. Not really clear on the whole process, but it's something you don't want to consume, and I get that much. Much like shverma (so called in Russia, shawarma in normal places). Don't eat it. You's probably eating rat. Or dog. One kid in the program last year ate it like twice a day and ended up with a parasite that only exists in dogs. So. There ya go.Rat shawarma. Beautiful.
New friends!
Over and out ;)
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